"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-- Marianne Wilkinson


How many times has fear controlled a decision in your life?

If you're like me, thinking about this question reveals a lot about our lives. In fact, for me, it seems as if every decision has been made out of fear. Fear of rejection, fear of success, fear of truth, etc., the list can go on and on and on. But here's one thing I always forget...it's not just me.

Fear is a human flaw. It is created and perpetuated by our "independence." The belief that if we get hurt, to never go in that direction, thus creating our "protective bubble," eliminates almost every thing in life that is possible. It eliminates living.

For me, it's not the fact that I fear the future, but the fact that I can be, as Wilkinson puts it, "brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous." Why not? If I want to be famous, then why can't I? If I want to be a doctor, then why can't I? If I want to be an author, why can't I? It's an interesting scenario to be placed in. To understand and believe that we can do all things, through Christ who strengthens us, scares us, because, well, how much strength do we truly possess?

Besides, who is justified to "judge" others? Think about it...can we really judge others' lives if we ourselves haven't truly lived, or we don't possess infinite knowledge? You're right...we can't judge others. Now be aware of the difference between legal justice in the form of juries and judges, and the life judgment that we encounter every day. Who is supposed to tell us what we can and cannot do? Only one...God. Not our parents, not our friends, not our lovers, not our teachers...no one but God...the others can help influence our decision...but only God can call us to our "purpose" in life.

And you know what...He already has called us. Look at the Great Commission...God calls us to "go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:19-20)

Now, I know it seems so simple...but it also is very complex. We are all ministers of truth and grace and love when we decide to let God be the center of our lives. But since we are all different parts of the body of Christ, then we are all going to be different ministers. Doctors, teachers, lawyers, garbage collectors, janitors...all can be ministers preaching the same love of God...don't ever doubt that. Don't ever feel like the only way to reach the "lost" is with the title of Pastor, Preacher, Minister, Reverend, etc...we are all disciples, followers of Christ, who have been called by God to preach and live out the love of Christ...

So, fear controls our lives...well, fear is not of God. Fear is of humanity. We created fear. The devil perpetuates fear. God destroys fear.

We have unlimited potential with Christ. We have unlimited, unique journeys with God. But we also have the same destination when we allow God to be the judge of our lives, and not the world.

With One Hand High...

To be quite honest, I am at a loss for words. A lot is going on right now, and it is both good and bad. As I begin my senior year a lot of questions are being asked, with a lot of possible answers:

--Will this be the year I fall in love? Hmm...we'll see (wink wink)

--Will I finally choose a direction for my life? This one is hard, but can also be amended during the course of my life.

--Will truth be revealed? Absolutely...though I am extremely nervous about revealing it!

--Will reconciliation be achieved? Let's hope so...it's a two way street, one that I am quickly finding out requires me to make a move as well as my enemies making a move.

--Will I finally sustain a sense of happiness? Well, instead of happiness, what about, fulfillment?


There are more questions I could pose, but it just becomes irrelevant to my situation, to every person's situation. We are all going through something similar. So what do I do? How do I answer these questions?

Well, I am reading Donald Miller's, "Searching for God Knows What," searching for new music, expressing each day's emotion through a journal, and of course, having, as my friend calls it, JAM time (JAM= Jesus and Me).

Stay tuned!

This is gonna be a good year. I can feel it...

I started my senior year of college, excited and nervous about my future after college. So much has built up to this point that I feel like I could explode. Big things are gonna happen this year. Truths will be revealed, walls will break down, and something will happen to my life that will direct it in the path it is destined to travel.

Have you ever felt this way? So excited, pumped, nervous, afraid, happy, etc., that you just can't put words behind it? Well, ironically, I am trying to put words behind these emotions as I type this post! Have you ever been more afraid of your next step, but also excited to see where it leads you? It is a really weird feeling.

I feel this conviction in my heart to break away. I feel God saying "Go." But I don't know where, and I think He wants to keep it that. God is telling me to just move. I can feel Him move...and it is weird, because I haven't felt Him move in a long time. I am certainly not refreshed, 100%, or without my stresses, but in thinking about them, I become more and more aware of the gravity placed upon my life by the simple fact that I have been saved by God. I feel this obligation to do more. To get out there. To do what I love, and to do it for the love of Christ. I really can't contain these emotions. I am so excited....

Something big is going to happen this year. More than one life will be changed. More than my life will be changed. This world will change.

I stand on the edge of a cliff, viewing a world that is both beautiful and dangerous. A world I used to call my own, that now rejects me because I never belonged. A world that is hungry and thirsty for more. I stand, afraid to fall, to jump, to be. I stand because I am held. I stand because I am saved. I stand because I am ready to stand. I am ready to jump...

Here I go....wanna join me?